Fear is the opposite of faith! We can not be fearful, worried, stressed, tense, angry, controlling, frustrated, or anxious if we have faith that everything is as it should be.
Having faith in life, and its individual and global lessons, is the essential element to conquering fear. In observing the world, I hear so many people make statements like things will work out as they are supposed to or if it is meant to be it will be, but they do not live with peace. Instead their lives are filled with anxiety, stress and worry. It seems that while so many people have the mindful knowledge of this truth, they lack the necessary faith (belief) needed to incorporate the concept into their lives. Obviously, developing this deep belief is easier said then done; but in the long run it is well worth the practice and effort. To begin, practice disconnecting from the drama in your life; learn to quiet the chatter inside your head. In doing so, we become more connected with our own inner world rather than picking up the fearful energy around us. Did you realize that when we emotionally engage in the happenings around us we are literally picking up others energy, their junk, and incorporating it into our own energy system? When we disconnect from others drama and energy patterns, and learn to quiet the chatter in our minds, we instinctively become more accepting and less fearful.
Another tool to quiet fear is to practice incorporating an accepting perspective of everything around you. Learn to see every situation as having a benefit, and realize if there was not a benefit it would not be happening. For example, suppose you find your car with a flat tire. On the surface, there does not seem much good being offered at the moment. Most of us initially react to the monetary expense and scheduling inconvenience, we view it as a bad thing and exclaim why me? The truth is all situations are exactly as they should be; our reactions are simply fear taking hold over us. In the above example, the fear may be financial, or a fear of being seen as irresponsible because we are late for an appointment. To stop the fear from owning us, we look for the good in what is being presented and have faith that the situation will work it self out as it is supposed to for our highest and best good. Maybe the offering is an opportunity to practice patience, or it could be that the flat is meant to temporarily keep us off the road in order to avoid an auto accident, or both. We may never know the whys in any situation, so learn to accept what is; we have faith. Every situation has a benefit, and is as it should be, or it would not be happening as it is . With practice, this state of being can also be applied to terror or catastrophic events. Remember, as a self check, if you are feeling stressed, tense, nervous, anxious, etc., you are not living in faith.
Ask yourself, What is my level of fear? The first answer we hear is the correct answer; even if it is not the most flattering (this is true of any self exploratory work). Explore your fear; the wounds it stems from. How does having it in your life benefit you? Remember that a benefit does not always appear to be a positive thing but it does fill an emotional niche or it would not be there. Then practice identifying your fear in all situations. What are some of the common words you use to express feelings of fear? Work to change your perspective to acceptance and look for the lessons in all situations. While changing our ways is difficult work, it really takes less energy than living with fear. Take a look around, do you see the drama happening around you? Realize that even a situation happening to you is still drama, just happening closer to home. Think about and explore how you can detach emotionally from all of it. Take inventory of what you do, on a daily basis, to quiet your mind; do you meditate or practice yoga? Make it a priority and learn to incorporate inner work into your daily routine.
Yes, self growth takes time and practice. When we realize learning about ourselves is why we are here in the first place, it makes living life much easier, as we are learning to swim with the current instead of swimming against it.
Cynthia Pickett, MSW, LCSW, LADC