We are whom we attract! Like attracts like and there is no way around that! Often times we don’t see the mirror in our partner because we like to 1) glorify ourselves and 2) the behaviors for the same emotional issues are different. For example, “He is abusive and I am not”, “He is emotionally unavailable and I am not”, therefore we think we are completely different. But if you look a tiny bit ... View Post
How To Set Boundaries and Not Take Things Personally
Q. In the article you wrote: ‘Set some clear boundaries about what behavior you are not willing to accept. For example, it is not ok to be yelled at, name called, intimidation, violence, hitting or threats of hitting, throwing things, etc.… I tell my clients that it is ok to feel bad it is not ok to act bad!’ Can you please explain how to set boundaries and to stop taking things ... View Post
I Always Have a Fear of Abandonment and I Am Not Sure How To Overcome This Problem and Have a Safe, Healthy Relationship
Q. When i first start dating a guy, I feel overwhelmed. All day, every day, I find that I am completely distracted with thoughts of him. I can’t concentrate on my work and I find myself hoping that he will call or text me during the day. I’m happy when he does but feel disappointed when he doesn’t. I’m almost 40 years old and yet I feel that I behave like a teenager (inside at least) when it ... View Post
Resilience
Being Resilient Being resilient in a crisis happens best by taking good care of ourselves on a daily basis. Think of it this way, when we are balanced we are our most resilient. But does that mean if you are not balanced there is no hope? No, it just makes it a bit harder. To achieve or maintain resilience it is important to have some daily rituals for ... View Post
Saying No
How To Say “No” Without Hurting Feelings or Feeling Guilty The word “no” is interesting! It is just two little letters that we have assigned such importance. If you have a hard time saying no without feeling bad then there are two things going on that represent poor boundaries. One is taking responsibility for others emotions and the other is being a people ... View Post
Being Single
Being Single One of the dysfunctions of today’s society is the continuous quest to be in a relationship. The philosophy that we are not complete, or validated, until we are mated is really co-dependent neediness in disguise. Common language used to hide the neediness is “I just want someone to share my life with”, or “I don’t need a partner I just like having some one around to do ... View Post